I Look Upon You

When I look upon you,

May the flowers of spring,
choke me to death.
For they are envy,
of that look I did not gave.

Allow my blood to flow to my head,
looking on the after rain sunshine.
That bow of colours,
look exactly like how you smile.

The summer's breath,
warming the soft sand where I sat.
Tenderly petals of waves,
singing me soulful jazz.

Allow me to wear you love,
the cloak you always gave others.
Let your warmth span the world,
because your compassion was never little.

The autumn winds surf over the grape fields,
wine made best with these.
The tingling pleasure bitter and sweet,
drinking on and on with ease.

Let me sway on the see saw,
going back to days of dreams and play.
That child we always forget,
joyfully innocent in your eyes they lay.

Your heart a fireplace,
Going strong in cold nights of winter.
The pure white angelical snow fell,
not in the heaven you will be forever.

Love will never fail,
to give love and be loved.
For happiness that goes eternal,
I will promise you, I will rise above.

Oh when I look upon you.

Dedication of a minute silence

On the table of sturdy union,

There sit a bowl of rice,

Served cold, and sad,

For the beloved and departed.

A death, had been.

A gust of almighty wind,

Came, gone, of sudden,

blown to the west.

Blow together are dusts of sorrows.

Speck by speck ripped his heart,

From it a river flows,

To his eyes of pale stare.

His puzzled eyes,

Of purest sadness,

Grabbed out merry me.

His empty gaze,

Clouded by a mist of grieve,

Looking straight into dark abyss

Of what may have been.

Do grieve then of resounding grieve,

Be sad then of unmending sadness,

Do mourn then of touching mourn,

Be weak then of bleeding weak.

The climb back will be tough,

As no man should do alone,

Nor alone would you be.

Let the song of him played the loudest within you,

Of blood, bones, heart.

Let him be remembered how he walked life,

Of tall, firm, grace.

Let him not be forgotten,

Of how he smile, laugh, live.

Let the light of him shine in you,

Of happiness, care, love.

On the table of sturdy union,

There sit a bowl of rice,

Served warm, and merry

For the beloved and parted.

A life, had been.

For you,

My friend,

Dearest you are,

Stronger you will be.

Once, my one and only

Reaching the bank overlooking,

By the stream of crystal clear I sat.

Believe not what I am feeling,

My hearts ache and I wept.

The dark clouds above drizzling rain,

Of angels, they too wept.

For I had inflicted pain,

For what my heart had set.

Once,

Through that stream you arrived,

I wonder what brings you to my bank,

It might be that smile so beautiful,

Without it o my heart sank.

You then sat by my side,

Bringing more than everything to my life.

Your being makes me alive,

Your love makes me survived.

For we had built so many sunshine,

And crying over so many sunsets.

For we had love under the starry night lights,

And hugging over so many regrets.

For we had seen tender fireflies nights,

And kissing over so many passion.

For we have been losing all our fights,

And gone silent without any notion.

We promised to weave that boat tight,

Which would take us to the sea.

Or build that bridge to the other side,

Bringing us to where ever it may be.

Now,

It has been tough,

To lose sight of what we seeks.

Of sea maybe rough,

Of path don’t know where it leads.

Cloaking ourself with our own mind,

Not letting the other know, what should have been told.

Chocking ourself with our own lie,

Leaving our love within our heart, nowhere to hold.

For I had go cross to the other side with that bridge,

To go be what I hope to be.

For you might have reached your river with that boat,

To go seek what is in that sea.

I hope you’ll find that horizon, which embraced you,

Be strong to again long for that warmth.

And I’ll find that tree, which would cover me,

Be strong to leave this bank after I wept

I will never forget that smile of yours,

which coloured my life.

Dedicated to once, my one and only.

The Kopi shop

The scent of old wood

Mingling aromatic wonders

Of kopi and teh.

A deep breath of bursting aroma

Charring thick

Send tingles deep

Deep to the soul.

Of white bread marriage

With mellow saltiness

And passion sweetness

Forever balancing

Of two in love.

On marble firm and smooth

Sat on round of nostalgia

The tingling cold of marble

The comfy warm of kopi

How we need to enjoy

As how our surrounding gives.

At its ear your fingers fit

Slowly you bring it to your lips

To kopi you blow for sake of blowing

And sip with your eyes closed

Fulfilling your body with its warmth

Traveling through channels reviving you

And it always end well

Exhaling true enjoyment

Every step of the way.

From far I see

He blazed of whitish tucked singlet

Black pants held high up

With golden belt of yesteryear

Warn out through time

The best he wants to wear.

As wrinkles as his shirt is his forehead

Of so long providing for family

He is a man of hardship

Trembling while he walks to serve

But he never stop walking.

He is giving out happiness

With every cup he made

With blends of love

He once shared with his dearest.

He lays his tiredness and loneliness to within

Not to others which he loved

Which he welcomes with eyes of joy

And the most beautiful laugh.

With the always calming ‘Hoyyyy’

Within his heart he chanted gladness

For his mind saying

‘Here comes my love’.

Im always that little child

Who always run to you

For that warm embrace

I missed so much.

I’ll celebrate your life

Within myself I will

Within this lovely kopi shop I will.

In memories of grandpa.

I Played!

Let my fingers slits between yours,

Lay down bare on the piano.

Let my whisper woke you up,

Let’s play! Let me play!

It goes like waking up,

Hovering still the dream last night.

My eyelids stay close,

Glimpsing the dusk that never sets,

Overlooking mountain of lush green,

Listening to melodies of waterfalls,

Soaring through the dimming clouds,

There you’ll be, you be.

It goes like waking up,

Let them sunlight shines,

Shine as bright they blind.

Through the slits of my window,

Bring fourth your travelling kisses.

So softly showering my soul,

So sad it would only arrive again tomorrow.

It goes like the afternoon,

They burn, they burn so.

Burn off my skin they do,

And my salty tear make worst.

Blackening my sight,

I drank that bitter wine.

Shots and shots of sorrow,

Never fail to kill my now standing soul.

It goes like the evening,

The sky goes through the most awe.

Bursting with feelings of joy,

Burst then is my heart with love,

Fly then is my soul with love,

Grow young then is my body with love.

I love you,

Pure you.

It goes like the night,

Them darkness slipping in.

The weakling stars,

Shown how beautiful dark could been.

I cozy under a small lantern of warmth,

Given by you with love,

Goes given me everything,

Everything goes wonderful,

When there are you,

As my everlasting ending.

There you are!

Listening to me playing,

Of misses,

Of joy,

Of sorrow,

Of love,

Of peace.

2/7/2011, 12.51am. with music on my ears, and a heart to love.

Is There something Wrong?

There is no wrong,

Drinking water from a vodka bottle,

They are a fool to judge,

You are a fool to pretend.

There is no wrong,

Singing freely walking down the street,

Who asked for yours ears, listening,

Or are you really ‘listening’?

There is no wrong,

When you walk up an escalator,

and walk back down,

is not a mistake,

to look for what is better above.

There is no wrong,

To dance in a train,

Everybody is moving anyway,

You are just moving a little bit more gracefully.

There is no wrong,

To see grass as flowers,

And flowers as flowers,

You’ll be seeing more than others do.

There is no wrong,

To be a giraffe among the hyenas,

You might get bitten,

But you will get noticed.

There is no wrong,

To be wrong,

Whats right?

When there is no wrong.

Be different.

10.40pm, 23/06/11, listening nujabes, dancing, immersing in all.

Overlooking Mt. Kinabalu

This describe my recent trip to Kundasang, overlooking the beautiful Mt. Kinabalu. Enjoy~

As spontaneous as it can be,

To go just to go,

Up the winding road we go,

Being together just together we be.

 Set free them barriers,

With hands and face dangling,

Moving only with the warm cooling breeze,

Never ever to adhere.

How a smile should be,

When whole heartily a child greets you,

Under a cottage built with mere wood and cosy pure love,

Of steeps of slipping mud,

Of fragranced flowery path,

Of walls of no wall,

We be where we seek to be.

On rocky road we drove,

On grounds of freshly breathe green,

Fences of innocent white,

And boulders of glorious past.

Of barns they surrounded,

Of patches of black and white they surrounded,

Of peace they surrounded,

To stress and sorrow away we shoved.

Of memory steps we taken,

Of brave men marches to hell,

Courage of the failed and nailed,

Pierced by the sharpest unjust,

The four gardens they were engraved,

The green hugged by forged red brick of Australia,

The small maze of rose’s scent of English,

The pond and plant of sacrifice of Borneo,

Of white pillars and serenade waters,

Towards framed white scenery of valleys,

To there they stay eternal, never forgotten.

Gushing warm embracing mother earth,

They give every cells a wake up,

To engineer the journey to life;

Endless sound of water orchestrated with rocks,

Conducted by laughter at the purest,

Beating every sense within,

A clear cleanse of the body and mind,

Oh dear peace, peace is not at dearth.

Soup and food for the soul,

Being with the hearts connected,

Though bonds so no invisible,

Visible through laughter and noise,

And the need to just be there, together,

Cheers to be with those that crossed once,

Drink to those that shared a room,

A room of life,

Where you always stayed within,

Love and loved without paying a toll.

The calm night that took them tiredness away,

Brings forth an even calmer morning,

Breathe the morning through every pores of my body,

Drank water that woke up my soul.

To climb steeps that overlook majestic,

Majestic that no fog could cloud,

No photos could compared to,

For you are the one and only,

My eyes as my camera,

My memory as my album,

Overlooking Mt. Kinabalu,

Forever you will be etched.

Along the road I walk,

Road built by men of courage to brace these mountains,

Built to reach them dreams,

Stationed cottages made of love,

Towards the waters that will cleanse,

And towards the heart that think of you,

You that make me ain’t gonna walk alone anymore,

For you I will hold your hands,

Together we walk life without dismay.

A walker towards uncertainty,

Bound to found what he is looking for,

By not finding,

But living.

11.59pm  6^th June 2011, shirtless under the cooling fan, music on ears, satisfied and thinking of someone.

The Silent corridor

Walking on the silent corridor,

Empty with doors shut closed,

Once a path of congested activities,

Turn downright hollow,

Like how my heart is for you.

The eerie sight of the silent corridor,

Buck every muscle I had in me,

For me to walk faster, Think smarter,

Towards where I don’t want to be,

The fiery hell of sorrow.

On the path of this silent corridor,

I see not friends but foe,

Taking every sweet, To beat me down,

Leaving me lying in warmth of my own blood,

Kissing the cold floor of my sanity.

Lighting the path of this silent corridor,

I see my heart on the right,

And my obligation on the left,

For I know which side I should be,

But no I still walk forward, foolishly balanced.

The end of this silent corridor,

Is just…

2.33pm, 11/4/11.

Do prevail.

House and Home

A house in white,

Gated with black forged steel,

Thorns and spear so sharp,

They cut those dare to enter,

By means of invading,

By means to change.

A house in white,

Gated with black forged steel,

A caged freedom it caged,

With stones and mortar it caged,

With sweat and blood it caged,

With shy and secret it caged.

Within,

The purest you became,

The most naked you became,

To curse, to hate,

To envy, to be evil,

To be all you,

So brave, so heroic,

So daring, so crazily bending,

Only to you.

Without,

We lied so cruel,

To what we intent.

We cheat so foxy,

We cheated ourselves.

We satisfied so easily,

To satisfied others.

We filled up so rapidly,

We are ‘fool’ all the time.

A house in white,

A casing to be all perfect,

A symbol conforming norm,

Like all houses in white do,

Hiding world changing turbulence,

Preventing path to be paved,

Not allowing destinies to be discovered,

Dreaming only in sleep.

Where your home at if,

Your house is not your home?

A home is not rigidly structured,

They are not even allowed to be still.

They are there when love is shared without rules,

They are there when you find peace with your destiny,

They are there when a small sparkle of fire give warmth,

They are right in you when you thought of going home,

They are there when you reveal only your true self, to everybody,

They are there within hearts or mine, yours and everybody else,

Only if you know how to listen.

No house but us,

Should housed our home,

Housed it with pride we should,

Never to hide the real us should be,

Housed it with respect we should,

Never to not be our selves

Housed it with love we should,

Never it will stop giving us more love in return,

Housed it with life we should,

Never than we are not free.

Then,

Be in your home,

Be you.

23/03/11      0300

Morning drive

As I drive by,

Along a small road,

The drum thumps,

Followed by soft kissing piano,

Then the guitar sings,

Serenaded by a touch of vocal,

Like a perfect blend coffee sip up slow,

Warm, addictive, soulful.

 As I vowed,

To just listen,

To let my shy heart blooms open,

Taking in the early sun,

To lighten my fiery day,

Giving way to the morning breeze,

To take sorrowful dust away.

As the road still go,

Colours,

At its most colourful,

The soothing green, the gentle red,

The calm blue, the smiling grey,

Hugging me at this vastness,

So protected,

Yet so free.

As I go over,

Over charted humps,

Predicted obstacles, slowing me,

Giving me time to see,

Observe the road I am taking,

I would go ups and downs,

Yet I drove on,

On the road of my choice.

As I breathe,

Breathing in the scent of morning,

So lush with nature,

So eager to live,

As I reaches the end of the road, unnoticingly,

I am deemed to choose,

To the left, to the right, to the front,

Not forgetting to the back.

Path chosen, are in no matters,

As long the destination are known,

Origins are remembered.